


Full of Hot Air

by shadesofhades



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Farting, Humor, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?, farting in bed, gross boys, i am too, there is more plot than is necessary, they are children - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 17:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11582976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/pseuds/shadesofhades
Summary: Everyone knows that moment in their relationship that they dread happening -- you know the one.(No really, this is 3k of boys farting and potty humor.)





	Full of Hot Air

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/gifts).



> Blownwish wrote an awesome fic that happened to talk about farting, which lead to terrible fart puns and character fart analysis with my Beta Annabeth. And this terrible idea was born. And I sort of hate myself for it. 
> 
> Recommended listening for this fic: Country Love Song by Stephen Lynch

**Part One: Yuri**

_Poot._

Yuri looks around, his eyes scanning the his surroundings, wondering if either of his boyfriends noticed that. He doesn't think so. Beka is wearing a pair of headphones with his computer open, probably mixing music or something, and JJ is in the other room on the phone. He can hear his voice carrying through the door as he talks to whom Yuri assumes is Isabella. 

It's always her, because apparently JJ can't just admit he likes cock and just _be_ with them. He thinks he can somehow secretly juggle fucking around with the two of them and still remain engaged to his beard. Stupid shithead. For a guy that is all about God, he sure doesn't seem to care that he is basically using Isabella to hide the fact that he really just wants to fuck (and sometimes be fucked by) Beka and Yuri. Not that he probably sees it as using her.

_Toot._

Well, if no one is going to notice, he might as well sneak a few in. This thing between them is pretty new and Yuri feels a little weird farting in front of them still. Honestly, it’s fucking weird farting in front of Yakov and Lilia and he lives with them. So, he usually tries to just be sneaky about it. If he doesn't make a big stink out of it, likely no one else will either.

Yuri lifts his leg ever so slightly to let another one out, eyes darting around the room. 

The place could be on fire and he is pretty sure Beka wouldn't notice, just wonder why he feels warm.

Yuri gags on the smell, sticking his tongue out with a, “blargh,” as he stares down at his phone and pretends to look at Instagram, anything to mask what he's really doing. It's terrible; his eyes are starting to burn.

He's beginning to think lunch didn’t agree with him. 

He gives Beka the side eye, trying to hide his face behind his phone and pulling his hood up, like that will somehow make him disappear. He knows you can't hide a smell, but trying not to make eye contact with Beka at least might make this less embarrassing. 

Beka doesn't even glance at him, though, his eyes remaining focused on his computer screen as he types. There is no way Beka can't smell that one lingering. The room isn't that big. But, if he isn't going to say anything, Yuri certainly isn't going to call his attention to it.

After a few minutes the air clears and Yuri breathes a little easier. 

_Poot_.

Maybe he can crack a window and just claim that he is feeling a bit stuffy. Nevermind that he's wearing a hoodie and it's really not that hot in here. Of course, Beka is still just typing away, and Yuri supposes he probably wouldn't ask anyway.

He knows Beka is quiet, it’s part of his appeal, but Yuri never thought he would be _this_ quiet. It's not like he never talked; in fact, sometimes after sex he was really talkative -- even more than JJ, and that idiot never shut up. But on this subject he remains silent.

“I know, Izzy, but it was an emergency.” JJ’s voice floats through the door.

Heh. Still lying to his girlfriend about why he suddenly needed to run off to Almaty to see Otabek. He rolls his eyes and buries his face back in his phone -- if that asshole wants to pretend that he isn't fucking Yuri and Beka, then let him. It's not like Yuri actually gives a shit about him. He is good in bed, sure, but Yuri doesn't really like him or anything.

His stomach gurgles.

“I'll be back by the end of the week, I promise, baby,” JJ says. “I love you too.”

There's a pause before JJ turns the doorknob, and Yuri wills his stomach not to betray him, because he's pretty sure JJ will notice if he rips one. He doesn't know why he cares if JJ notices, but for some reason unknown to him, he does, damn it. Beka is understandable, he _likes_ Beka, but JJ? Fuck him.

He bites his lip and wonders if he can manage one more quiet one before JJ gets into the room.

Leaning to the side, he feels relief flood through him; maybe his gassy tummy will feel better now.

Yuri knows the instant that the smell hits JJ when he enters the room because his entire face seems to wrinkle up in disgust like he just walked through a stinky wall. Well, so much for subtlety.

“Oh my dear sweet Jesus. Otabek, did you shit your pants?”

Beka glances up at those words, his headphones obviously not as loud as was previously implied. Well, crap. 

He shakes his head at JJ. 

“It wasn't me,” he says evenly, his face not changing at all as he throws Yuri under the fucking bus. That whole time and he couldn't say a fucking word to indicate that maybe Yuri should try to cork it? Seriously?

“What on God’s green earth -- you couldn't open a window? You made Otabek sit here and _smell your rank farts_? Do you want him to suffocate?” JJ asks as he pulls the top of his t-shirt over his nose. 

“It doesn't smell that bad, quit being a fucking pansy about it,” Yuri tells him, his whole face feeling hot. 

Beka gives him a look that says, _’Yes, Yura, it does.’_

“Why didn't you say something, you asshole? You just sat there the whole time,” Yuri accuses.

Beka’s cheeks look the slightest bit pink, and he doesn't make eye contact when he says, “I didn't want to embarrass you by pointing it out.”

“Seriously, Kitten,” JJ gags. “I'm opening the window.”

Yuri growls, his body radiating with anger at Beka and JJ and the humiliation of being caught farting so freely when he thought no one would notice.

“Well, fuck you, like your ass doesn't stink!” Yuri shouts. “It was your terrible cooking that caused it, dipshit.”

JJ looks amused. 

“Normally,”JJ starts, “I think you look sexy when you're angry, but not so much when I can smell you everywhere. I think it burned off all my nose hairs.”

“Fuck you, you fucking fuck,” Yuri yells, his whole body hot now as he gets up and stalks towards the door. He may spontaneously combust from mortification if he doesn't get out from under their accusing gazes.

“Not unless you take something for your stomach. That thing is a loaded weapon,” JJ returns, and Yuri can tell even though he's hiding his face with his shirt that he's grinning. 

Fucking smug bastard.

Yuri makes sure he slams the door extra hard as he leaves, satisfied when a picture hanging on the wall crashes to the floor.

\------

**Part Two: Beka**

He’s nearly forgotten how flexible Yuri is. It’s been over a month since he last saw JJ and Yuri, and the absence has definitely clouded his memory. 

No, actually, that isn't entirely true. 

He remembers _exactly_ how flexible Yuri is, but the reminder of it is nice.

Of course, he'd also forgotten that JJ could be an insufferable idiot at times -- but at least he is enjoyable to look at. And much more enjoyable to fuck since he stopped running off to talk on the phone to his girlfriend every time either of them suggested a more permanent arrangement. The last few months have been rocky between the three of them since JJ had started to blame them for his break up with Isabella, but Otabek knows that eventually he will come around. 

It was for the best, really, that she was gone. It isn't that Otabek dislikes her, but JJ is obviously much happier without her, despite what he says. He had been unbearable those first two weeks, but eventually unbearable had lessened into obnoxious, then eventually tolerably irritating.

They're all lying in bed together, and Otabek is pretty sure he's the only one awake, but --

He tries to gently remove Yuri’s arm from around his bare stomach, careful not to wake him, and Yuri thankfully just rolls over and snuggles up to JJ. And, of course, JJ is grinning stupidly even in his sleep as his arms automatically reach out to receive Yuri.

Well, they both seem pretty well asleep, but Otabek doesn't want to chance it, so he swings his feet over the side of the bed and stands up. He only gets one step towards the hotel bathroom when he hears JJ’s voice asking,

“Where are you going, Beks?”

He considers not answering for a moment, but JJ is usually persistent and he really needs a little relief.

“Bathroom,” he says quietly, trying to keep his voice low so he doesn't wake Yuri. Although, given the way he's babbling and smiling in his sleep, Otabek bets he's probably pretty far gone.

As soon as the door closes he sighs and lets a feeling of relief flood through him, his body relaxing.

_Prrrrrrrvt._

He's been holding it in for a while, and he feels leaps and bounds better. There hadn't exactly been a good time to sneak off before now, but since they are (mostly) asleep, he thought he could manage.

He flips the fan on for a moment to clear the air, then ventures back out, fully intending to climb back into bed and spoon Yuri, but JJ’s knowing smile stops him before he can even lift the covers.

“It's been eight months since we started sleeping together and you still can't fart in front of us,” JJ says.

Otabek has no idea how he knows that's what he just did.

As if reading his mind, JJ says,

“You didn't even turn the light on, just the fan. If you were pissing you'd probably want to see what you were doing.”

He can't argue with that logic, so he doesn't.

“My mother taught me that it wasn't polite to fart in front of people you love. I think she meant girls, but --”

Then he realizes exactly what he just said. 

_Love_. They hadn't said that word yet, any of them. They had skirted around the word a few times, and there was once where Yuri even admitted to _liking_ them, but the L word had never actually been out there before.

He always figured JJ would be the one to say it first.

The word lies heavy in the air between them for a moment before JJ smirks.

“You love us.”

He's glad it's dark in the room, and that Yuri is still sound asleep and cursing to himself between snores, because he's pretty sure that he's blushing, and it’s bad enough that JJ heard this. Yuri’s the most emotionally constipated person he knows and no doubt it wouldn't go over well --- the L word. He isn't ready for it yet, and Otabek has been aware of that for a while, preferring to keep his feelings about the two of them to himself until the right moment. 

But he blew it.

“I do,” he tells JJ, trying to sound more confident about his confession than he really feels.

He's expecting JJ to tease him, but he doesn’t, instead leaning across the bed, careful of Yuri to grab his hand and pull him down.

He goes easily, his knee hitting the bed as he gets dragged forward, JJ’s lips meeting his. 

“I love you, too,” JJ tells him when they part, and Otabek can't help the giddy feeling that spreads through him at the words and the smile that twitches at the corners of his lips.

\------

**Part Three: JJ**

It's early in the morning yet, maybe only six or seven when JJ wakes up, slowly blinking in the morning light beginning to seep around the edges of the drawn curtains, and he's surprised when he glances blurrily to his left that Yuri is sitting against the pillows bent over his phone. 

He still finds it strange that Yuri wakes up early, and even after more than a year, he hasn't gotten used to that fact. Although, admittedly they all are usually early risers for training, but he could have never imagined Yuri as a morning person, not until this whole thing between the three of them started and he saw it with his own eyes.

It seems like so long ago now, especially after everything they've been through together -- Isabella breaking it off with him; Otabek and then him finally coming out to their respective parents; and oh god, Yuri actually getting introduced to his parents as his boyfriend which was about the most awkward thing ever -- that they had all ended up in bed together after too much champagne. That banquet night was a blur, but the morning after was still clear in his mind -- Yuri freaking out when he saw him, _his_ freak out when he realized that they had gay sex (he was still in denial about the liking guys thing back then), and Otabek just calmly waiting for the two of them to work it out.

“Mornin’, Kitten,” JJ says sleepily, reaching out to wrap his arms around Yuri's waist and rest his head against Yuri’s hip. His bare skin is hot through the thin sheet draped over him and it makes JJ want to curl up and go back to bed.

“Morning, Shithead,” he says, but doesn't look up from his phone. JJ feels a little sore about the lack of attention, but trying to get Yuri’s full attention while he's browsing Instagram is pretty much a lost cause, so he doesn't bother, instead tightening his grip on Yuri’s waist as he listens to Otabek, still sawing logs behind him. 

“How did you sleep?” JJ asks, but Yuri doesn't seem to notice that he even spoke, completely absorbed in his stupid phone.

JJ frowns, wondering if he should knock it out of his hands so Yuri will actually look at him.

“I had a great dream last night,” JJ continues after a moment, staring up at Yuri’s face, wondering if Yuri’s even hearing him. “I dreamed that I won gold today and that I fucked you in the middle of the ice while the whole audience watched.”

Still nothing.

“I wonder if Beks wants a wake up blowjob,” JJ wonders out loud. Yuri just gives a small grunt of recognition, like that's an answer.

He sighs and lets go of Yuri’s waist so he can lie back against the pillows and stare up at the ceiling. It's not very interesting, but he's not ready to get out of bed yet -- Otabek and Yuri are pressed close to him, and he's enjoying their presence too much to want to move. Plus he's sort of trapped unless he wants to climb out the end of the bed, or attempt to climb over Otabek, who is _not_ a morning person. He only had to make _that_ mistake once.

Closing his eyes, he wonders what Yuri finds so interesting on his damn phone that he can't even spare a glance for his poor boyfriend who is dying of boredom over here.

Cracking open an eye he looks at Yuri, who's still preoccupied, his finger scrolling down the screen before he pauses and taps on the tiny keyboard.

JJ should have just taken it out of his hands. Of course, Yuri doesn't react as well to JJ trying to get his attention as he does to Otabek. He turns his head to look at Otabek's profile, amused to find him with his mouth hanging open and a small line of drool escaping.

Dead to the world.

Despite always being the adult in this relationship, it amuses JJ to no end that Otabek will easily sleep until noon if given the chance, while the two of them are always up at a decent hour.

The quiet tapping of Yuri’s fingernails against his screen stops, and JJ looks over at him, feeling hopeful, but he's just gone back to scrolling.

Fine, Yuri has forced his hand.

He sighs deeply, and squeezes one eye shut in concentration as he forces one out.

_Prrrrrrrrt._

Well, that certainly got Yuri's attention. JJ can actually feel his glare long before he sees it.

“You disgusting asshole,” Yuri says, his eyes murderous. “Did you have to do that here?”

Even if it's negative attention, it does feel nice to have Yuri's focus be on him. He grins.

“Aw, baby, it's not disgusting. Everyone farts.”

“Not in front of other people!” Yuri shouts, and Otabek’s snores pause briefly. Yuri looks slightly apologetic towards Otabek before he glares at JJ again.

JJ’s grin gets wider.

“Like you're so innocent. Or did you forget about Fartageddon last year?”

Yuri looks simultaneously angry and embarrassed at the reminder. 

“I didn't do it on purpose, asshole!” Yuri says, sounding exasperated.

“Beks had to have the couch steam cleaned,” JJ reminds him.

Yuri looks, if possible, like he might literally blow his top.

“And it still kind of smells funky. No one ever wants to sit there anymore.”

“I told you my stomach was upset!”

JJ laughs and pulls himself upright so can sit up and lean over to kiss Yuri. Yuri isn't having it though, pushing JJ away and glaring at him.

“Don't kiss me right after you farted, you shithead.”

“Why?” JJ asks before he kisses Yuri’s lips again, just a peck. “Afraid I have fart cooties?”

Yuri wipes his hand over his mouth and growls at him. It's adorable.

“It's just gross, okay?”

JJ laughs.

“You want gross?” he challenges before he yanks Yuri down towards the bed and throws the sheet over him.

It isn't hard to squeeze out another one.

Yuri’s gagging under the blanket and JJ is actually sort of afraid that he may throw up given that he can smell that one _above_ the blankets.

“You fucking asshole! It's in my mouth! Bargh!”

This time when Yuri yells, Otabek’s snoring stops dead and JJ pauses, letting Yuri up from the bed as he turns to stare at the dark eyes glaring daggers at him.

Oh Lord have mercy. If looks could kill JJ and Yuri would be singing with the angel choir right now.

“Morning, Beks?” JJ ventures, trying to look innocent.

Yuri is smart enough to just shut up and try to slide off the other side of the bed like his bones are suddenly jelly.

“JJ,” Otabek says with a deep frown. “I thought we agreed to no more farting in bed.”

“He started it!” JJ says immediately, pointing to Yuri who peeks out from beside the bed to glare at JJ.

“Lies! All lies!” Yuri yells before he ducks back down.

“I don't care who started it. I'm finishing it,” Otabek says evenly. 

“You,” he starts, pointing at JJ, “No more farting. And you,” he says, pointing his finger at Yuri who ‘eeps’ and hides again. “No more yelling.”

They're both quiet for a long moment as Otabek lies back down, pulling the covers away from JJ’s naked lap and pulling them all over himself in a cocoon. Yuri slowly creeps up from the floor, still glaring at JJ, albeit very silently, the only sound the creak of the box spring as JJ tries to make room on the bed for Yuri.

Until Otabek lets out the loudest fart that JJ thinks he's ever heard.

_PFFFFFFFFFFFFT!_

That's when all three of them lose it.

END.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [State of the Fart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11591178) by [annabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/pseuds/annabeth)




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